Here I post articles in keeping with my beliefs. Everyone can have the relationship that they deserve, be it with their romantic partner, their family, friends and work colleagues. This blog includes reflective words on ourselves as people, how we can develop greater self awareness about ourselves, how we impact others.
Relationships have been a motivator throughout my life as with most human beings. When I was ten, our family moved to Switzerland and I experienced a huge social and cultural change. I have experienced the pain of marital discordance and divorce, raising my daughters almost singlehandedly whilst taking courses to further my education and eventually starting a business..
Growing up in the sixties born into a middle class, “careful with money – post war” mentality meant that emotional issues were under wraps and rarely discussed yet I was endlessly curious. I haven’t stopped being curious and deeply reflective regarding people and the things they do and if I’ve learned anything at all it is that people just sometimes need to be heard and have support during difficult times when negative emotions come into play.
When I began therapy training I was aware of how people affected me and felt on occasion a lack of support – consequently would do things to please people so I would not be adversely affected by what others thought. This is something I had to let go of as I grew older as this is not sustainable to growth. In fact with many clients I draw back to the question “what makes you happy”?
One of my mottos is “No Man is an Island”. We are primarily social beings – whether we choose to mix in society outwardly or inwardly we may be affected by what people think of us and therefore knowing or understanding how we impact others can be a valuable tool in life.
When someone comes to see me to discuss a relationship difficulty, whilst it may be deeply impacting that person on a cellular level – there are always many contributing factors. It often includes aspects of childhood relating to primary care givers, attachment styles but is often also dependent on early friendships and adolescence.
Most situations come up for resolution through divine timing, so your process time is entirely yours; triggers may kick-start this process and it can be helped and comforted through therapy.